Why On Earth Would I go to a Men’s Cuddle Party?

by | Feb 11, 2015

Jon Lehrer CP Facilitator, Vancouver BC

Many of you already get why a Men’s Cuddle Party would be amazingeye-opening, fun, connecting, relaxing, or healing. But for some guys, it may not be immediately obvious. And for others, it may be downright frightening!

North American culture sends us (particularly straight men) lots of messages about not getting too close to other men, which can leave us a bit isolated! Here are a few reasons* why you might want to consider giving a Men’s Cuddle Party** a try:

1. There are some great men in our community!
With all the great women in our community, sometimes we miss the opportunity to connect with the guys in our midst. This is a great chance to build friendships and to experience our fellow men as something other than “the competition”

2. We are often raised to keep some emotional distance from other men
Sometimes this means we end up trying to meet our needs for emotional comfort and physical comfort through the women in our lives (women often have a more diversified support network). When men give support and acceptance to one another, we emerge juicier, stronger, happier, and all our relationships benefit.

3. In my experience, men are very good at giving massages
Strong hands? Social incentives? Couldn’t tell you. But if you’re a guy with a knot in your back, a men’s cuddle party might just be one of the best places to be.

4. Cuddle Parties are also a workshop to practice skillful communication
…about what we’re interested in and what we’re not, and to gain fluency with our own boundaries and interests. Some people find it easier to practice these skills with folks of their own gender. If you’re not sure about cuddling, but you’re looking to dive into the myriad of personal development opportunities at a Cuddle Party, a men’s event could be a great place to start.

5. Cuddle Parties are great spaces for trying new things and taking small steps outside your comfort zone
Because many of us have been been discouraged from physical contact with other men, many of us need a bit of extra safety and structure to even consider what might be on the other side of that wall. As with all Cuddle Parties, you are not required to do anything, and you’re supported in trying things and changing your mind at the drop of a hat. This allows some incredible freedom for self-exploration.

If you identify as a man, and there’s a Men’s Cuddle Party in your area, I’d encourage you to give it some consideration. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk. And if you’re a Yes to checking it out, I’d love to hear about your experiences!


* These reasons are generalizations, and a lot of them apply particularly (though not exclusively) to straight men raised in mainstream North America. We are a diverse group, and the challenges and benefits will be different for different people. If you identify as a man of any sort this space is for you, and I look forward to hearing about your own experiences.

** Specialized Cuddle Parties are meant to create opportunities for greater connection between people. Cuddle Party loves people of all genders, orientations. ages. and pretty much anything else you can think of. Respect for all humans is fundamental at all our events. In Vancouver, we currently run specialized events for Young People (18-30), self-identified Men, and self-identified Women.

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