You asked, we’re answering! 🧸

Q: “Is it not a contradiction to say that Cuddle Party is a platonic event and also sex-positive?”

A: “Platonic and Sex-Positive? How Does That Work?

As facilitators, we understand that Cuddle Party is a platonic event. That means we ask everyone to agree not to seek out sexual energy during the event, and if it arises, we do not pursue it.

At the same time, Cuddle Party is sex-positive.

Historically, our culture has been filled with negative messages about sex, sexual identity, and natural bodies. Sex positivity seeks to counter those messages by encouraging open, respectful conversations about sex, sexuality, and identity. It’s also about releasing our own shame, not perpetuating shame in others, and not creating shame in the first place.

Sex-positive attitudes can help reduce depression and even prevent suicide. Many people have felt too uncomfortable or ashamed to speak with medical professionals because they’ve been taught to be ashamed of their bodies. Others have severely limited their lives and relationships due to shame around their sexual identity, preferences, STI status, or other deeply personal aspects of themselves.

Cuddle Party gives us a chance to explore pleasure, what feels good in our bodies, and how to ask for it. It also allows us to practice the full spectrum of human connection. Too often, we’re conditioned to believe that meaningful connection must come through romantic or sexual relationships.

But there are so many ways to connect between “sex” and “nothing.” Eye contact and a shared smile with someone on the street, holding hands while talking, leaning back-to-back to support each other—these are all amazing forms of connection we might overlook if we think every interaction must lead somewhere. Cuddle Party offers the freedom to experience platonic connection and pleasure in ways we may not have realized were possible.

Being sex-positive means approaching human sexuality and pleasure with respect, without shame or stigma. It means being able to witness others—without judgment—as they share their sexual identity, gender identity, orientation, relationship preferences, and what brings them pleasure.

So, how can we be sex-positive at a platonic event where we agree not to bring sexual energy into our interactions?

We do it by creating a supportive space for people to explore what helps them feel good, including how to ask for it. We foster a nonjudgmental environment where consenting adults can talk openly about their sexual stories. In safe, supportive spaces like this, people often want to have these conversations.

Promoting a sex-positive attitude is fully aligned with the Cuddle Party mission. We aim to create a supportive, shame-free environment where people can tune into their embodied consent, practice empowerment, explore desires, and experience pleasure in a platonic context.”

— Mary Sorensen, Cuddle Party’s Executive Director

📩 Have a question? Send it to: community@cuddleparty.org