Sure You Do!

Cuddle Party is a new kind of workshop/social event, that creates a safe place to give and receive touch in a fun and affectionate setting.

Cuddle Party lets you:

* Learn clear and easy communication skills
* Set limits simply and straightforwardly
* Give and receive enjoyable touch in a safe setting, where your boundaries are respected.

You can come to a Cuddle Party to meet new people, to enjoy amazing conversations, to touch, to be touched, to have fun, to practice asking for what you want, to practice saying “no” to what you don’t want — all in a setting structured to be a safe place for exploration and enjoyment.

Shucks, you can even come to a Cuddle Party just to cuddle!

Cuddle Party is a platonic event! It’s not a hook-up or dating scene. It’s common to make new friends, and occasionally people have met dating partners, but mostly it’s about friendship and learning nurturing touch.

Sometimes we host parties for particular invited groups, like women only, LGBTQ, BIPOC, or singles. We ask for a donation or charge a modest fee to cover expenses. Adults only (18 and up).

The ability to negotiate conscious consent is a fundamental value at Cuddle Party. We ask that you refrain from alcohol and all other mind-altering substances before attending a Cuddle Party.

You don’t have to come to our party – we can come to yours! We can run a private Cuddle Party with your invite only list for your birthday, fund-raiser, or social group.

Scroll to the top of this page and click on ‘Upcoming Events’ in the menu to search for events in your area. 

If you don’t see any posted in our event listing:

Click on ‘Find a Facilitator’ in the top middle of this page and search in your area to see if there are any certified facilitators there. 

Please do contact your facilitators directly to ask about their events. 

First, everyone arrives on time and changes into pajamas or other comfy clothes.

Next, a trained facilitator gently leads you and the other guests through a Welcome Circle and orientation, where you’ll get comfortable with each other, learn to make easy, respectful requests and communicate clear boundaries, and where we’ll go over the simple rules.

Everyone agrees to the Cuddle Party Rules, which include:
* Pajamas stay on the whole time.
* Ask for what you want and get a verbal “yes” before proceeding.
* You don’t have to cuddle anyone you don’t want to, or anyone at all, ever.
* You are free to leave at any time.

Then, you’ll have a couple of hours for free-style cuddle time – to relax, chat, cuddle, have a snack, or just hang out.

Typically, people enjoy foot-rubs, back rubs, spooning, nuzzling, and just generally snuggling up together. Some people like to settle in for a period of time, others like to try shorter times with a variety of people. Usually 3 or 4 or more will end up in something of a ‘puppy pile’.

At the end, we close with a short closing circle.

Cuddle Parties are facilitated by people just like you who have gone through our training and certification process.

Of course, anyone can invite their friends over to cuddle (we wish more people did), and our Certified Facilitators are trained to teach the participants to make respectful invitations and communicate clear boundaries.

Simply put, our Certified Facilitators help a room full of grown-ups in pajamas feel safe and comfortable while learning new skills and enjoying themselves!

Singles – We often have more singles than couples. Singles really appreciate the opportunity to enjoy some simple physical contact without, as one participant said, “getting into a situation”.

Couples – Couples often find that the short boundary and communication workshop we start each event with actually helps them at home, too.

All Genders – We have people of all genders attending! Any gender can enjoy connecting with, learning with, and experimenting with people of any other gender.

Women – Women are sometimes afraid they will be expected to be close to someone they don’t want to be. But they always discover that we really mean it when we lead the guests through practice in stating our choices and boundaries (including saying no). Very often, women find the nurturing (with both men and women) to be just what they wanted, but didn’t know was possible, until now.

If you’re feeling skeptical about cuddling with men you don’t know, please check out this article – Women Skeptics

Men – There is a social idea that men only want sex. It’s not true. Men are just as appreciative of opportunities for platonic cuddling as anyone else. Men are sometimes afraid no one will want to cuddle them. But it hasn’t happened yet! You might like this article – Real Men Do Cuddle.

Young and Old – We have a wonderful age range at our events, often 20’s to 70’s, and we always hear people appreciating each other.

Beginners – Sometimes people are afraid they won’t know ‘how’ to cuddle, or will feel awkward. That’s why we help you get started and guide you through some ideas and examples. And by the end of the evening, you’d never know anyone felt awkward a couple of short hours ago!

Varsity Cuddlers – These folks dive right to the middle of the puppy pile, are comfortable and relaxed from the start. Their comfort is usually contagious.

Check out the Cuddle Party Rules HERE

The Welcome Circle orientation establishes our communication and boundary expectations for the evening and gives us some practice. This creates clarity and safety that lets everyone relax and know they are on the same page.

If you arrive after we begin, sorry, we will not be able to let you in.  It takes shared experience in time and space to create community, set a mutually agreed upon container for our time together, and get comfortable with each other.  This is the function of the Welcome Circle. 

Bring comfy pajamas to change into (of course, you are welcome to wear your pajamas on the way over, if you don’t mind funny looks on the bus). Sweats are fine, but no short shorts or spaghetti strap tank tops, please. Think less lace, more flannel.  Long shorts and wide strap tanks are the minimum clothing expected. 

Please avoid perfumes/colognes and scented products like hairsprays, if possible. This makes it easier to cuddle you!

You are welcome to bring a pillow or teddy bear, too, if you like. Be sure to check the description from your facilitator for each event because each facilitator may have a slightly different boundary for clothing.  Don’t overthink it though.  Just wear something comfy. 

Some people are already comfortable with touch and can’t wait to be in a place where that’s OK. Others aren’t even sure they want any touch at all, but come to explore some communication skills. Many are somewhere in between. Others are just curious about what it might be like.

Many of our First Time Cuddlers don’t want to cuddle with strangers at all, but during the Welcome Circle find out that others have shown up for similar reasons. Once we’ve taken the first step in getting to know one another, it’s surprisingly easy to want to reach out and hold someone’s hand, or ask for a hug.

Whatever your reasons, a Cuddle Party is a great playground for discovering more about yourself, for exploring new ways of connecting with others, or simply enjoying a relaxing, cozy evening with other cuddly souls.

We have found, at the hundreds of parties we have facilitated, that it is not the cuddling that most people come to learn. It is the boundaries and communication skills that are most appreciated by our guests. Once boundaries, choice and communication become easier, the cuddling happens quite naturally.

It is always a joy to see a group of relative strangers, some of whom feel a little awkward at the beginning, relax and enjoy themselves together, and by the end of the evening feel quite cozy and satisfied.

Everyone, including you, has a choice about who and how to share touch. That means that there may be people who say ‘No’ to your invitation. At Cuddle Party we celebrate No by recognizing the person is taking care of themselves and giving you respect with their true answer.

If you have this concern you are not alone (that’s why it is in the FAQ). We encourage you to ask your certified Facilitator for some help and support.

Our Certified Cuddle Party Facilitators are trained to use the Welcome Circle orientation to establish the boundary agreements and teach communication skills for the evening. We go through the Rules of Cuddling and a few exercises for practicing the skills of asking, communicating and respecting other’s choices.

Even so, it is possible that someone at the event may goof. We are all humans! This is where you get to use the communications tools and skills you have just learned and practiced.

And of course, please ask the Facilitator for help with anything, at any time.

Each of our Certified Facilitators arranges their own events and makes their own choices about gender balancing. Please see the details for each event and contact that facilitator if you have questions.

Cuddle Parties are not about sex and not about coupling up, and therefore gender is of very little consequence. Many people who think they need a balance, are quite surprised at how little difference it makes after they experience a Cuddle Party.

However, we realize that it’s a question that comes up. It’s understandable this is the way we have been taught to see connections in our culture in the past.  However, we are all coming to Cuddle Party to learn a new way of relating and connecting well with all kinds of people.  Gender and who you may or may not be attracted to may inform your Yes and No of what you may be comfortable engaging in, but there are many ways of experiencing nourishing connections with every different kind of person and that is part of what we create space for you to explore at Cuddle Parties.