Check out the newsletter on Mailchimp platform: Cuddle Party Connection Circle #2
🌟 Welcome back to the 2nd issue of the Connection Circle!
Hello, current and soon-to-be Cuddle Party Facilitators! 🧸💛
We’re thrilled to be back, bringing you all the exciting news happening at Cuddle Party! Some of you really enjoyed the last issue — that makes us incredibly happy and even more excited to continue this project. Thank you for taking time to connect with us!
In this issue, you’ll find:
🌟 A spotlight on the amazing Nellie Wilson
🛠️ Tips on how to restart your practice after a long break
🎥 A video tutorial on how to create events on the Cuddle Party website using our new plugin
💬 Another round of Community Q&A
Thanks again for tuning in! We appreciate you!
— The Community Engagement Team 💌
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✏️ Name: Nellie Wilson
🏳️🌈 Pronouns: They / Them / She / Her
📍 Location: Chesterfield/Cummington, Western Massachusetts
🎂 Age: 42
🎗️ Role at Cuddle Party: Database Management
💬 Why do you think the work we do at Cuddle Party is important?
Cuddle Party offers a space to have authentic human connection with people in a really safe way. There’s this opportunity to have a container around exploring something that so many people don’t get in their day-to-day lives. Even folks who feel like they get a lot of touch still benefit—because of the focus on communication, consent, tuning into your own desires, and learning how to speak up for what feels like a yes. The transformative notion that “no” means someone is taking care of themselves has been life changing for me and something I share with clients, friends, and people I meet. You never have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party—touch is not required. It’s welcomed, there’s an invitation, and we deeply honor your no. And we’ll celebrate if you change your mind. I wish every politician had to go to a Cuddle Party—these basic concepts could be hugely transformative for society at large.
What is your role at Cuddle Party?
I am not offering Cuddle Parties at this time, but for quite a long time, I have been working behind the scenes on scheduling all those reminder emails you get about the weekly Tuesday (4 p.m. EST) and Wednesday (9 p.m. EST) ‘Cuddle Party Training and Certified Video Calls’. More recently, I have started working with Cuddle Party on evaluating and improving the CRM database. My background working at various nonprofits and geeking out on organizing and data entry inform my work on this project. Helping Cuddle Party continue to improve support for certified facilitators, students, and the public is something I want to contribute to. If your contact information has changed, please be sure to reach out so we can stay in touch!
🌱 Why did you decide to become a Cuddle Party Facilitator?
I really wanted to be able to hold that space for other people. I had done facilitation work—support groups, sex ed classes—so when I did my Cuddlist and Cuddle Party certifications around the same time, it felt like a really nice pairing. I could offer one-on-one work and also group events. I loved being a participant at Cuddle Parties and wanted to bring that into my life by facilitating. People enjoyed the parties I held. It was a lot of work—like full event production—but also really rewarding. My background in nonprofit event organizing definitely helped, especially since I was renting a space and had to manage setup and clean up each time.
🦸♀️ What are your superpowers as a Cuddle Party Facilitator?
I feel like I’m pretty good at meeting people where they’re at—having the invitation there, but also being really present with where someone is in the moment. That “being with” piece is really undervalued in a lot of societies, but it’s something I keep practicing. I’ve also gotten really good at embracing the awkward. So I’d say that’s another of my superpowers—being pretty good at leaning into the awkward and being silly.
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Tips on How to Restart Your Practice After a Long Break
Sometimes unexpected things happen in life, and we decide to pause our cuddle practice. Maybe we realize we need time to focus on another endeavor, or perhaps we’re just tired from hosting Cuddle Parties and need a break!
After time away, returning to your practice might feel overwhelming. You might not know where to start or struggle to find motivation.
I want to offer you five tips to help you restart your practice gently and compassionately.
1. Be Kind to Yourself
Life can be hard. It’s completely okay that you needed to pause your practice—our paths aren’t always straightforward.
It’s easy to judge ourselves. Negative thoughts might pop up. But remember, these are just stories, not reality. Regardless, the narratives we tell ourselves shape our experience, so be mindful of them.
What if, for example, you told yourself:
✨ “It makes sense that this feels difficult—it’s been a while! But it will get better.”
✨ “Beginnings are always slow; consistency is key.”
✨ “Taking a break was the right choice for my mental health. Now I can return on my own terms.”
Without self-pressure, the process becomes much easier—and even enjoyable!
2. Reconnect with your Online Training
Remember, you still have access to your Facilitator Certification Course. That could be a great place to start reconnecting with your practice and the community. I would recommend visiting the course and reading the chapters that you really enjoyed or the ones you remember the least. Reading about these topics could help you remember why you got excited about becoming a Facilitator in the first place.
Besides, you are definitely not alone in this journey! The Cuddle Party community is here for you. Here’s how to get support:
📞 Attend a support call: We host them every Tuesday at 2:00 PM CST and Wednesday at 7:00 PM CST.
💬 Post in the Certified Cuddle Party Facilitators Facebook group: share your struggles or ask questions.
📧 Email us at community@cuddleparty.org. We’ll respond ASAP!
📍 Reach out to nearby facilitators: On the Cuddle Party website, you’ll find facilitators in your area. Many of us love building community and may be open to collaborating!
3. One Small Step After Another
If everything feels overwhelming, start small. First, make a checklist to clear your mind. Seeing tasks on paper makes them feel less daunting.
List everything you need for your practice—be as detailed as possible. For example, instead of “Promote my event,” break it down:
📝 Write text for the event poster
🖼 Choose images for the poster
🎨 Design the poster in Canva
📱 Post on Instagram
📈 Boost the post as an ad
🎥 Create a story with a video explaining the event
Next, categorize tasks by difficulty. On energetic days, tackle something hard. On tougher days, do a few easy tasks. Aim for at least one small step daily.
If today’s win is “Wash the sheets for the Cuddle Party,” that’s fantastic! In a month, you’ll be amazed by your progress.
4. Meet Your Public Where They Are
A common challenge when restarting is filling events. Social media posts might feel like shouting into the void—even if they worked before, algorithms change, and momentum takes time to rebuild.
My advice? Engage with communities aligned with Cuddle Party values. It’s easier to attract people already interested in connection, touch, or personal growth than to convince a hesitant friend.
Here are some related spaces where like-minded people gather:
🧘 Massage & physical therapy
💃 Ecstatic dance, tantra, or BDSM
🫂 Non-monogamy (polyamory, relationship anarchy, SW)
🎭 Contact improv, theatre, yoga, meditation, or men’s circles
🗣 Non-violent communication, somatic work, or reiki
🏳️🌈 LGBTQIA+ activism, feminism, or restorative justice
Attend workshops, join Facebook groups, or participate in events. These connections can reignite your excitement and help rebuild your audience.
5. Find an Adequate Venue—Not the Perfect One
It’s easy to get stuck searching for the perfect space—a big, dreamy room with dozens of cushions, soft lighting, and just the right colors. But you don’t need perfection to start.
Start small and iterate. Maybe your TV room can only fit 6–7 people, or the furniture isn’t trendy but is comfy. That’s enough! With each event, improve one thing—you’ll gradually create your ideal space.
To get inspiration on how to create a comfortable, adequate space, revisit your Facilitator Certification course.
Another option? Partner with someone who has a space but isn’t a facilitator. Check the “Planning a Workshop” section in your Foundations of Facilitation course for venue ideas. Reach out to local studios, healing centers, or community spaces—your work is valuable, and collaboration is possible!
💛 Final Thoughts
It’s totally okay that you had to be away for a while. If you’re ready to restart, there’s no better time than right now. If you are thinking about it, but you don’t feel ready yet, that’s okay, too! When the time comes, you will know.
I hope these tips make your return smoother. If you have questions, email us at community@cuddleparty.org. We’re here for you!
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💬 Community Q&A
You asked, we’re answering! 🧸
Q: “Is it not a contradiction to say that Cuddle Party is a platonic event and also sex-positive?”
A: “Platonic and Sex-Positive? How Does That Work?
As facilitators, we understand that Cuddle Party is a platonic event. That means we ask everyone to agree not to seek out sexual energy during the event, and if it arises, we do not pursue it.
At the same time, Cuddle Party is sex-positive.
Historically, our culture has been filled with negative messages about sex, sexual identity, and natural bodies. Sex positivity seeks to counter those messages by encouraging open, respectful conversations about sex, sexuality, and identity. It’s also about releasing our own shame, not perpetuating shame in others, and not creating shame in the first place.
Sex-positive attitudes can help reduce depression and even prevent suicide. Many people have felt too uncomfortable or ashamed to speak with medical professionals because they’ve been taught to be ashamed of their bodies. Others have severely limited their lives and relationships due to shame around their sexual identity, preferences, STI status, or other deeply personal aspects of themselves.
Cuddle Party gives us a chance to explore pleasure, what feels good in our bodies, and how to ask for it. It also allows us to practice the full spectrum of human connection. Too often, we’re conditioned to believe that meaningful connection must come through romantic or sexual relationships.
But there are so many ways to connect between “sex” and “nothing.” Eye contact and a shared smile with someone on the street, holding hands while talking, leaning back-to-back to support each other—these are all amazing forms of connection we might overlook if we think every interaction must lead somewhere. Cuddle Party offers the freedom to experience platonic connection and pleasure in ways we may not have realized were possible.
Being sex-positive means approaching human sexuality and pleasure with respect, without shame or stigma. It means being able to witness others—without judgment—as they share their sexual identity, gender identity, orientation, relationship preferences, and what brings them pleasure.
So, how can we be sex-positive at a platonic event where we agree not to bring sexual energy into our interactions?
We do it by creating a supportive space for people to explore what helps them feel good, including how to ask for it. We foster a nonjudgmental environment where consenting adults can talk openly about their sexual stories. In safe, supportive spaces like this, people often want to have these conversations.
Promoting a sex-positive attitude is fully aligned with the Cuddle Party mission. We aim to create a supportive, shame-free environment where people can tune into their embodied consent, practice empowerment, explore desires, and experience pleasure in a platonic context.”
— Mary Sorensen, Cuddle Party’s Executive Director
📩 Have a question for a future issue? Send it to: community@cuddleparty.org
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🤝 We Want to Connect With You!
One of our biggest goals this year is to strengthen our community of Facilitators. We’d love to hear about what you’re doing and where you want to take your cuddle practice!
Douglas J. Pouliot (Doug), one of our Community Engagement volunteers, will be reaching out soon. We are trying to update the contact information we have for you. Also, we want to know if there’s anything that we can do to support you.
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📸 Showcase Your Cuddle Party!
We’re building a vibrant library of photos and videos to help Facilitators promote their events. We’d love to feature yours!
What you could share:
✨ Smiling group photos (with signed consent)
✨ Snapshots of welcome circles or icebreakers
✨ Photos of cozy event spaces before people arrive
✨ Short video clips capturing connection, fun, or learning moments
If you have photos or videos (with signed consent from everyone pictured) and want to share them with us, please send them to:
📧 community@cuddleparty.org
✨ Together we can inspire more people to join the cuddle movement!
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📖 Tell Your Cuddle Party Story
On the Cuddle Party website homepage, there’s a space to share your story! We would love to hear about your experiences, intentions, emotions, and hopes for the future. Clik on “I am ready to share my story!” and tell us about something meaningful to you.
Need a starting point? Explore these:
✨ What’s something you found valuable from the Facilitator Training Course?
✨ Why did you decide to become a Cuddle Party Facilitator?
✨ How has becoming a Certified Facilitator impacted your daily life?
✨ A memorable facilitation moment: Was there a time that surprised, moved, or taught you something profound?
✨ When things didn’t go as planned: What did you learn from the experience?
✨ A time you felt proud of holding space: What made it special?
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With Love and Connection
Thank you for reading this issue of the Cuddle Party® Connection Circle! Crafted with care, we hope it supports you in your journey.
Let’s keep co-creating spaces of care, consent, and connection—together. 🫶🏽
With warmth,
Ramis Lao (they/them)
Head of Community Engagement
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